Chance for Change

Change is good - whether voluntary or not - better yet, change can be a great thing. As humans, I believe it is natural to at times be complacent in our thoughts and become afraid to digress from our said plans. I get it - new things can be quite intimidating, especially if you didn't choose to embark on a new path and life chose a different route for you.

A few months ago, I knew I wanted growth but  wasn't quite sure how to go about it. In my mind, my life was headed in one direction, but I think in my heart I felt otherwise. But something had to give - I wanted more from another, but I also needed more from life. However, life, quickly showed me that my newfound journey of growth would have to be a solo mission and not one of a team effort. Here comes the gasp. Life was changing for me and it was not on my terms. What a slap-in-the-face that was. I can confess, I went through various stages of grief during this time, i.e. anger, pain, sadness, confusion, vodka (do not judge - it was one of my phases a night or two) - but I am proud to say I kept my composure. I did not let my so-called "rut" get the best of me.

It would be a lie to say this new transition didn't take a toll on me emotionally, no matter how composed I was in public, I suffered in silence for a while. The detox (the first 24 hours) were the worst because I didn't know where to begin. It seemed like everything else went awry too.  In the beginning I thought noone could or did understand, then I thought people just felt pity for me and then I just wanted to crawl in a hole and hibernate for a couple of years - as if that were even a likely option. All the while, the inconsistency of another was continuing to weigh on me and further confuse and weaken me. Yet, on the surface, I remained calm. Although I was hurting, I did not let bitterness set up residency in my heart; instead I forced myself to become nicer, more considerate and even began to smile more. 

Then one day, all the smiling must have worked.  I remember waking up feeling a little stronger, more confident, more appreciative for what I did have - and I asked myself why? Why am I resisting change? Why am I letting life run me instead of me running my life? It was in that very moment I cried because I was on the brink of freedom. I was at liberty to do and be as I saw fit. I became aware of how emotionally flexible I could be and how the path that life sent me on was just a detour to get to the fabulousness of where I am set to go anyway - I am just taking the scenic route now. 

That one question led to me ask myself other uncomfortable questions. Who do I want to be? How do I want to be remembered? Am I funny? Am I strong? Am I brave? Am I too serious? I then took a long stare at myself and realized that all these months had passed and I was still standing. There was one of my answers - yes, I am strong.

While I do think about what was and what could have been I no longer get saddened by those thoughts; I smile. I laugh - not because I am better than the situation that tried to break me, but I am definitely happier than the amount of damage negativity (so-to-speak) tried to inflict.

I have met new people, had new experiences and am more excited about the future and the great things the UNIVERSE has in store for me. While I don't get it right every single moment of every single day, I do know that when I don't like something I have the ability and the right to change it before it changes me.

So if ever life hands you lemons or limes...break out the salt and patron - but if that isn't your style just remind yourself to bend and not break. Get up, intend to do better and then in the words of a woman that inspires me, RaqC, "just be."

Be better, be you, be happy, be smarter, be kinder.....just be.

Goals...how many of us have them?

A list of goals, to-do list, bucket list or whatever you prefer to call it - we should all have a list of experiences we would like to have throughout the course of our lives or should we? 

I remember watching the Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson film, The Bucket List and feeling inspired, energized and ready to take on the world. Realize I said feeling and not doing; and then I probably made a sandwich, changed the channel and went on about my day. Funny, right?

Well, maybe not, but looking at the bright side, it is still early enough in the game to make a difference in my life and for you to do the same in yours. 

And before deciding to decorate and send out invitations to a pity-party-for-one, I decided to take a look back at my life and found that I had already accomplished some of my goals, I was just too blind to see. So sit back, relax, and instead of thinking about the lemons in your life, think of all the deliciously, sweet lemonade (pink lemonade if you like) you've not only made but had the opportunity to drink and go from there. Because I am confident that you have had a goal or two or even three that you have already accomplished and didn't even realize it.

If not, don't fret.

So let's assume you are among those that have yet to put your bucket list on paper, or those that hasn't a clue of what you really want if given the opportunity to choose from the grand catalogue of life; I'm here to be your brainchild and tell you that today is the day.  The day that you devote oneself to thyself.

Accept this present (get it? the present), grab a cup of coffee or donut or both, take out a sheet of paper, and write down any and ALL experiences you wish to have - whether it be to finish school, have a baby, be on television, travel the world, run a marathon in its entirety - whatever you decide, write it out. And yes, I suggest you do it in that order, donut and coffee included. Don't let fear or the opinions of others stop you, instead let your motivation drown out the naysayers in your world.

Today, I want you to decide to live and not simply exist. Easier said than done, right? I know that feeling, but I also know that after sitting down and looking back at my life I have had some amazing experiences and didn't realize it. And I know that I still have so many more experiences on my proverbial "bucket list" to go.

I awoke this glorious Tuesday feeling more alive than usual. I got out of bed invigorated, inspired and ready to take the bull by the horns. And as I took my first steps this morning, in addition to being thankful for another day of life, I remembered a thought-provoking quote from the awe-inspiring Marie Forleo. "Clarity comes from engagement, Not thought." 

Since the very moment I read that quote I decided to live each day to the fullest and find the passion in EVERYTHING I do and will continue to work on each and EVERY one of my goals, - big or small.

So if you still need some inspiration - here are two questions from the movie The Bucket List that may help to get you started, "Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?"

 

The "S" on your chest

..They say I walk around like I gotta a S on my chest.....aaahhhh, the wonderful lyrics of hip hop artist 50 Cent. This is precisely how I woke up feeling today. I originally intended to post another blog I had begun earlier in the week, but the quote attached in addition to my musical inspiration changed my mind. Hey, it's my blog, I do what I want.

So what do Hip Hop and a mere quote have to do with the other? Well, in case you didn't know, I think I'm a superhero. No, not the kind that dresses in skin-tight, colorful spandex donning a cape with the power to lift buildings and such. One could only wish! I'm talking about a regular person that doesn't allow life to get the best of her, she takes the good with the bad, rolls with the punches and attempts to help and love as many along the way. The kind of superheroes that we meet everyday and don't realize it. If you ponder the thought for a minute I am sure you too will find that you know a superhero or two; hey, you know me and that's a start.

My most prized, out-of-this-world power is my ability to love. Yep...I'm back on that. You will find that every good thing I do and have done is out of love. Whether it is letting someone get ahead of me in traffic, opening the door for a complete stranger, saying good morning, giving my spare change to those in need, giving advice or even loving someone in spite of it all - I do it all for love.

What can I say, I love love. The very thought of it makes me warm and fuzzy, and fills me with such joy and I'm not afraid to say it. I know...I know. Nauseating isn't it. Good thing I have reached a dangerously awesome new level of freedom and don't care what others think. If I did then I wouldn't write what I want and publish it for the world to see it.

So what is wrong with loving hard you ask? Nothing. Some may disagree but that is for them to contemplate and analyze - not me - I will just wish them well.

I. Will. Not. Apologize. For. Loving. Hard.

Why would I be sorry for loving hard? Loving hard is a gift and worth it all. Plain and simple. I find that when one loves hard, it is a love that remains, and eventually boomerangs its way back no matter how off-course it has gotten. Some may say otherwise, but you will learn that I am an advocate of all things positive. Therefore, I simply feel that when love persists like that, it is for one reason only - because it is real. It simply gets buried under a pile of hurt, fear, doubt and sometimes anger and some people are not sure how to remove those layers to get back that love and simply find it easier to move on.

The cool thing about loving hard is that it allows you to have the resilience and endurance to push past all that contradicts love and hang in there. Crazy isn't it? Not really. It's love.

I wasn't always pro love. I was always kind and did things with the best intentions but I was jaded.  However, the past few years I can honestly say that I have allowed myself to  love hard and intentionally. And it has it been quite the adventure! I love even when I don't necessarily see or feel the love and I'm okay with that.

If you aren't so privy to know my kind of love, don't worry, simply dig deep within yourself and you may find that love has always has been with you. It's quite moving. That love within allows you to not only love yourself, but also allows you to love those the most when they are least deserving.

Is this superpower easy to recognize or come by? Of course it is. Okay, so now you probably think I'm delusional or high on some sort of illicit drug, but that is not the case. I am nonetheless writing on no caffeine so that could be a contributing factor.

This love is easy to come by when you work for it. I've been working towards this my whole life and it only took me 30 years to find it. Yes, I am showing my age. I will be honest, I was resistant at first. In addition to resistance, I also had the help of cynicism and negativity to help complicate my love further. BUT, just when I thought I was down, something and someone crossed my path and changed my direction - and I've never been the same. This allowed me to find the love inside of me and see all that I am and all that I have and gave me the confidence to take the plunge and love hard. And I'm a firm believer that it happened just in the nick of time. 

So, if you love hard, don't apologize for your gift. Ever. Flaunt the S or better yet, the L on your chest with pride. There will be those that don't know how to accept it because they are innately programmed to be afraid of the unknown. Continue to give your gift to them because it is in the giving that you make the other person realize.

G.I. Jen

Is it true that intelligent people are full of doubt, yet the stupid ones are full of confidence? I came across this while engaging in my morning ritual of social media surfing and it resonated something in me.  For many, it could read like the proverbial fortune cookie, as just words, but for the latter half of those reading, it hits home. 



If  the shoe fits wear it, right?  Well, let me be the first to admit, I tried to put my foot in the shoe. It was too easy. You know what I'm talking about. You read something while in a particular emotional state and you begin to take what you read on a social media site to heart. Who does that? We all do it - don't be ashamed - no one's judging. Well, at least I'm not. But if you are still not convinced and want to continue to deny it, I will be the innovator this glorius day.



Yes, I was feeling a particular way this morning, put on the shoe, and proceeded to wear it for a few minutes. I sure did. Pitiful, right? Then it hit me - or more like it began to cut the circulation in my leg - this doesn't apply to me at all. How could it?



I have had  those not-so-great  moments, it's human nature. I have fallen weak to my emotions. And let's not even begin to talk about how at an intricate part of the month I'm "full of emotion" simply because I'm a woman.  Good thing that is linked to hormones and not my personality.



Let me be even more candid. I have briefly doubted myself for one reason or another. But I have the innate quality to drown those doubts with confidence. I'm blessed with this relentless attitude that no matter how bleak a situaion I can't give in. In the face of adversity, I stand tall. I'm a gladiator.



I've forgiven, endured, overlooked, accepted, heard, felt and seen plenty, yet, my confidence allows me to continue to pick myself up, dust off my shoulders and try again. Therefore, what I read this morning was merely my fortune cookie - sans Chinese food - just words and I'm confident enough to know that.




So the next time you read or hear something that may hit a little too close to home, remember who you are, and be intelligent enough to know that it's just social media and only applies if you let it.